


Days Gone By (A Christmas Story)

by lulumina



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Allura returns from the dead as a spirit, Christmas, Christmas Eve, Cuban Lance (Voltron), F/M, Fix-It of Sorts, Inspired by A Christmas Carol, It's not very obvious though, Lance (Voltron) Angst, Lance (Voltron) is a Mess, Lance (Voltron)-centric, M/M, Minor Keith/Lance (Voltron), Past Allura/Lance (Voltron), Past Allura/Lotor (Voltron), Pining Keith (Voltron), Post-Canon, even though she wasn't really dead
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-21
Updated: 2018-12-21
Packaged: 2019-09-24 06:37:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17095679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lulumina/pseuds/lulumina
Summary: It's Christmas Eve, and Lance is back at home with his family. The war is finally over, and he's trying his hardest to settle back in and be happy on the farm. But after the festivities grow to be too much for his conflicted mind, he runs off and tries to sort out his feelings, only to be greeted by Allura's spirit, sent to the mortal realm to guide him back to the right path.Loosely based upon Charles Dickens' The Christmas Carol.





	Days Gone By (A Christmas Story)

**Author's Note:**

> hi everyone!!!
> 
> i wrote this as a early christmas gift, and also to help ease the pain of season eight. to clarify, this takes place roughly a year after the final episode! let it be known that i was listening to aloha o'e while writing the goodbye scene. shit's sad.
> 
> also, i like to pretend lance's altean marks don't exist. because they were stupid. :)
> 
> i hope you enjoy, and merry christmas! <3

🟆 🟆 🟆

Christmas at the McClain family farm was always a bustling, joyous time. From the time the first string of Christmas lights was hung, to the moment the last present was unwrapped and the shrieks of happy children echoed throughout the house, there wasn’t a single moment where anyone could be upset. If you dared to mope in plain view, some aunt or uncle or brother or sister would be along in no time to push you into some chore or to watch a classic Christmas movie until you had no choice but to laugh and go along with it. Even if you boarded yourself in your room, someone would, ten times out of ten, burst in and ask for help wrapping presents, or making eggnog, or doing anything just to get you off your feet and into the Christmas spirit. 

Christmas had always been Lance’s favorite time of year. Seeing everyone so happy was a gift in itself, and having a break from his grueling studies at flight school was a blessing. When he was younger, anyway. Now with years of universe-defending under his belt, the pilot Lance McClain was back home and celebrating Christmas with his family yet again. The war with the Galra was over, his friends were safe on Earth, and there was nothing more for him to worry about. No more late night calls to duty, or fear of the Galra invading the ship in his sleep. No more missing his family or fearing for the lives of his closest friends- they were all right here, or if not  _ here _ here, just a video call away.

So why did he feel so unhappy?

A lot of his sadness was probably the fact that he had lost Allura. His girlfriend, whom he loved more than anything in the universe. In the end, she had sacrificed herself to save all realities everywhere. It was necessary. She made sure to convince him there was no other way, and that she wouldn’t be  _ dead _ , exactly, just losing a physical form. Lance was immensely proud of her, and had mostly come to peace with the fact he would never see her again. But that didn’t mean he wasn’t sad, or that he didn’t lose sleep over missing her.

After Allura had left, Lance had decided to give up his dream of becoming a pilot. When he was only seventeen, he had left home to defend the universe, and now, at twenty-one, he had seen enough action to last him a lifetime. He returned to his family’s farm and spent most of his time there, occasionally returning to Allura’s home planet to catch up with the rest of the paladins and to view the progress on her memorial.

He was content with his new life- it was simple, and he didn’t mind it at all. 

Perhaps another reason for his unhappiness was the absence of his friends, the other four paladins. For years, he had spent every day by their side, blasting aliens and protecting innocent planets and people. Lance had grown so used to having someone to count on at all times- he couldn’t quite understand the hole left in his heart when he couldn’t automatically turn to Pidge for help with a tricky tech issue, or to Hunk when he needed a warm hug and some comfort food, or to Shiro for mentorly advice and a solid pat on the shoulder. But maybe the biggest void was the one Keith left behind. The hothead of their team, but a hothead who had grown so much during their time in space. He started out sour and closed off, seemingly capable of feeling no other emotions but anger and irritation. But as he and Lance grew closer, learned to open up around one another, they slowly came to the realization that they were two parts of the same whole. Lance’s goofball attitude balanced out with Keith’s dry humor, and Keith’s blunt and unfeeling demeanor was softened by Lance’s endless stream of love for everyone around him. They completed each other. 

The team never really celebrated Christmas on board the ship- Altean calendars were different than Earth ones, and they were far too busy defending the universe to plan a whole holiday anyway. That’s why Lance was so excited to go back home- he never truly appreciated Christmas before he left, and now that he had spent years without one, he never wanted to miss a holiday celebration again. He had meant to invite all of his friends to the farm (it wasn’t like they didn’t have any room: the farmhouse was by no means small) but by the time he got around to asking, Pidge and Hunk had already made plans with their respective families, Shiro was spending the holidays with his husband’s parents, and Keith was off on a relief mission to another planet that would last well into the New Year. 

So, Lance was left with his family. Which wasn’t a bad thing- it’s just that they were extremely good at sniffing out when he wasn’t feeling happy. Which tended to be all the time, now. And to be honest, the attention was a bit suffocating. 

Currently, Lance was sitting in his closet and trying not to feel too bad for himself. His family was all doing different things- his twin sister Rachel was baking with his older sister, Veronica, the kids were probably out playing with the dogs, and Lance’s mama was shopping. He had been invited along to all three, but declined each offer with the excuse that he was tired and wanted to rest. 

Lance always went to his closet when he was upset as a child. He nestled himself into a perfect nook, right there in the corner, that he had decked out with his favorite blue blanket, a squishy pillow, and a little reading lamp. As a kid, he sometimes spent hours in there, playing or reading stories. His own personal hideout. 

Now, as an adult, Lance didn't quite fit. His long legs had to be curled up tightly to his chest, and the cramped space made his knees begin to ache after too long being bent. 

But the closet was peaceful and quiet, so Lance really didn’t mind too much. 

He spent most of his time in there thinking about Allura. He had a framed photo of the two on their first date propped up on the ground, and a little vase with her favorite flower that he usually kept on the windowsill. He thought about all their adventures together and with the team- Saving planets, fighting aliens back to back, Allura teaching Lance sword fighting techniques. He had taken for granted all the time they spent together,  and now that they were apart, he was emptier than ever.

Lance cupped his chin in his hand and gazed at the picture on the ground. He thought he had come to terms with what happened, but now that everyone was extra happy for Christmas... he just didn’t have the amount of pure joy his family did. What was wrong with him?

“ _ Lance _ !” A voice called, muffled through the walls. “Lance, where are you?” 

_ Maybe if I stay quiet, they won’t find me.  _

Wishful thinking.

The closet door flung open, bright daylight illuminating his hideout. His sister Rachel stood in the doorway with her hands on her hips.

“Lance, it’s Christmas Eve! Please don’t tell me you’re moping in your closet again. Aren’t you a little to old for that?”

Lance crossed his arms over his knees. “I needed some quiet time.”

“Well, you’ve had enough. Mamá said the best therapy is spending time with family, so that’s what we’re going to do. Veronica and I are making cookies, and we need a spoon-licker!” Rachel grabbed Lance’s arms and tried her hardest to heave him off the ground. Five years ago, that might have worked, but Lance’s time in space strengthened him both physically and mentally. He became a deadweight. 

Rachel tugged as hard as she could, to no avail. “Dios _ mio _ ! If you keep resisting me, I’ll go get Ronnie. She’s a lot stronger.”

Lance begrudgingly stood up and let Rachel drag him downstairs, where Veronica was waiting. 

 

🟆 🟆 🟆

 

After two hours of cookie baking and decorating, Lance was exhausted. As Christmas dinner inched closer, more of his family began to arrive, bringing gifts and good tidings. The kitchen was crowded with aunts and uncles and cousins and grandparents hugging and laughing and making merry. Someone had started playing music in the living room, and all the girls grabbed their boys to dance. The happy voices and insufferably cheery music grew to be too much for Lance, contrasting with the unhappiness he felt inside his chest. The pain was like a dark weight in his heart, pulling him deeper into the water while his family and friends celebrated, safe and dry on the shore.

Some aunt grabbed his arm and tried to pull him into the living room to dance. Lance saw the noise and the mass of movement and jerked his arm out of her grip, much to her dismay.

Lance had to get out of there. 

His sisters were too busy arguing over whether the red or the blue frosting tasted better to notice him slip out the back door.

The sun was setting quickly, the chilly night air beginning to wash over the farm, but Lance knew exactly where he wanted to go. He wrapped his arms around himself and broke out into a run, feet pounding the grass to the beat of his pounding heart. He could still hear the music coming from the house, and ran even faster to try to escape it. His eyes began to sting. He told himself it was from the cold air. 

Why wasn’t he back there? He should be spending time with his family. It was  _ Christmas _ . He would usually be cracking jokes with his cousins, or spending time with his  _ abuelita.  _ He would be doing something,  _ anything _ but running away from the people who loved him most. 

Lance’s feet stopped, and he found himself inside the barn. It smelled slightly sweet, a mix of dry hay and manure. The cows had just been brought in from the pasture, now beginning to settle down for the night behind their gates. He scaled the ladder and heaved himself into the hayloft. Assorted bags of feed and machinery pieces were scattered about, and Lance spotted a barn cat lounging lazily on a rafter, perhaps resting in preparation for a night of mousing.

Lance picked his way to the back of the loft and found a perfect little hiding place, a stack of hay in the corner blocked by a pile of feed bags and a broken plow. He curled up on the hay and tried to organize his mind.

Lance had never been very good at dealing with negative emotions and self doubt. As a child and a teen, he was so self confident and his life seemed so perfect that he hardly ever had to face these feelings head-on. As soon as he got accepted into flight school, a little seed of worry was planted inside of him. What if he messed up, or got kicked out? His whole family would be disappointed. They had been so excited when he got his acceptance letter- almost as excited as Lance himself. School had never been Lance’s strong suit, and it was even worse once he started attending a flight academy full of the country’s smartest and most prospective youth. Each time an instructor scolded him for being too headstrong, or one of his friends made a harmless joke about him flunking out, the seed of Lance’s anxiety and doubt grew worse.

Keith, of course, didn’t make it any better. Keith was the best pilot of their generation... and a major discipline case. Lance was insanely jealous of Keith’s skills, which motivated him to work even harder in order to surpass his so-called rival. 

When Keith dropped out their junior year (he had punched an instructor in the eye) Lance took his chance. All of his training, all of his hard work and dedication led up to that moment. Lance assumed the top fighter pilot position. Much to his dismay, his self-doubt didn’t go away. Instructors still constantly reminded him that the only reason he was there was because Keith had flunked. 

As soon as Lance and his four companions went into space to fight the Galra, things began to change. He and Keith began to grow closer, sharing a number of bonding moments and learning to trust each other. Keith became Lance’s singular confidante, the only person he felt comfortable confessing his insecurities to. Not even Allura had that honor.

Lance sat up with a sudden realization. Keith! He could call Keith. Hopefully, he wasn’t too busy with a mission. Keith had always been able to make Lance feel better with just a few words. 

Lance pulled out his phone and opened the video-call application. Pidge had tinkered with it and made some adjustments, making it capable of calling anyone in the universe through a series of radio and light wave adjustments. He dialed Keith’s code, and waited, taking the time to make sure his eyes weren’t red or puffy. 

After a moment, the call connected. Keith’s lean face appeared on screen, a pale scar running the length of his right cheek. His long black hair was windswept, thick bits framing his face and eyes. He was still in his uniform, the one he wore to all humanitarian relief missions. 

“Hey, Lance!” he said, smiling softly.

Seeing Keith’s face make Lance want to cry. It had been so long since the two had last talked in person, and Lance immediately felt better. Keith appeared to be on the surface of some planet, the sky tinted purple behind his head.

“Hi, Keith,” Lance sighed. “I can’t even tell you how good it is to see your face.”

“Is everything okay? It’s Christmas, isn’t it? Why aren’t you with your family?” Keith immediately switched to concern for his friend. 

“Well-” a loud crash interrupted Lance’s answer, and the video momentarily went static.

Keith whipped his head to the right to see what had happened off screen, eyes widening with shock. 

“What was that?” Lance asked, concerned. 

“Looks like someone pushed over the-” Static fuzz. “-ception. I may have to-” More fuzz. “Lance, I have to go.”

“Oh,” Lance said, unable to hide his disappointment. “Okay, then.” 

“I’m sorry, La-” Static. “-to talk to you. I’ll call you back as soon as I can.” Before Lance could even say goodbye, the call blinked out and Lance was left staring at his reflection in the dark phone screen. He closed his moistening eyes and curled back up on the hay miserably. So much for feeling better. Before he knew it, Lance had cried himself to sleep.

 

🟆 🟆 🟆

 

Lance was awoken by a soft white light washing over his senses. He slowly opened his eyes to see an aura of white spreading its light across the loft of the barn, reaching into every corner and crevice and illuminating every spare spiderweb. As Lance’s eyes got used to the luminescence, he started to make out a figure standing at the source. She was tall and regal-looking, simply oozing poise and radiance. She was dressed in a sparkling white gown that seemed to be woven out of the starlight itself.  As the light softened, Lance could see the facial features of the figure- soft brown skin, twinkling blue eyes, and pointed ears. Her smile was soft and welcoming- just the way Lance remembered. 

“Allura?” Lance whispered, not letting himself believe it. 

“Yes, Lance. It’s me,” Allura responded. Her voice was soft and gentle, slightly echoey as if she was across the room and not right in front of him.  She opened her arms and Lance met her in the middle, holding her tightly. Touching her glowing form sent shivers across his skin, a feeling like being encased in a vat of warm bubbling liquid. He drew back and looked her in the eyes.

“How are you here? I watched you sacrifice yourself. You- you left. To the stars.”

Allura sighed. “That I did. But similar to how the paladins of old guided us as the new generation of Voltron,  I can now guide you as well, as well as temporarily project my essence onto the mortal realm.”

Lance took a step back, now noticing the halo of light surrounding her form. It gave her a starry, almost otherworldly appearance... which he supposed was fitting, now that she existed on another plane of being entirely. “So you’re not actually... here?”

“Sadly, no. When I gave up my physical form, I forfeited the ability to remain in your realm. But, in times of need... I can be called down to assist those who need my help,” Allura took his hand and squeezed gently, sending the warm feeling across his skin again. “And you, Lance, seem to need my help.”

Lance broke down, tears welling up in his eyes. “Allura, I don’t know what to do. Now that you’re not here, I’m never happy. I always think I’ve come to terms with you being gone, but then I see everyone else with their loved ones and it’s like I’ve lost you all over again. I tell myself I can be happy here. I’m with my family, everything is simple and carefree. I don’t have to worry. So then why am I so unhappy all the time?”

Allura’s eyes grew sad. “Lance, please tell me- when have you ever been happy with a simple life? You’re Lance McClain, pilot of the Blue Lion, who’s never one to turn down a challenge. You’re always the one to take chances, and your sense of adventure is what led us to meet in the first place. Why would you be satisfied on a farm?”

Lance couldn’t think of a decent reply. Why  _ did _ he think he would be happy here?

“I have a few things to show you,” Allura explained. “Please don’t be frightened.”

Lance cracked a grin. “Me? Frightened?  _ Never _ .”

Allura smiled, seemingly happy to see the spark of excitement Lance used to always carry with him. She held out her hand and Lance took it, instantly whisking them both out of the barn and towards the farmhouse. They passed through the wall of the house like it was made of mist, and Lance was greeted by a Christmas tree surrounded by his family.

“Holy cow... did I really sleep that long? It’s already Christmas morning?” Lance asked, looking at Allura for verification. She simply shook her head and nodded at the Christmas tree. Lance followed her gaze and saw the entire McClain family sitting there, opening gifts and buzzing happily, but something was different. Veronica was wearing a bright pink sweater and her hair was up in a long ponytail, not to mention she looked like a middle-schooler and not a young woman. His eyes found Rachel next, several years younger and crouching next to a little boy clutching a huge wrapped box. A quick scan of the room confirmed his theory- they were viewing a past Christmas morning. Which meant the boy sitting with the box... 

“Mamá, look! This one says it’s from the Galaxy Garrison!” Little Lance chirped, shaking the box with vigor. 

“Open it,  _ mijo _ !” Lance’s mother encouraged from her perch on the couch, nursing a cup of coffee in her hands. 

The younger version of Lance excitedly ripped the paper open to reveal a box plastered with a photograph of a colorful toy spaceship, bearing the words  _ The Astral Phoenix  _ in fiery red print. 

“Wow!” Little Lance gasped, momentarily floored by awe. His sister tried to grab the box, but he distractedly pushed aside her hands and attempted to pry the packaging open. 

“Oh! Scissor duty, Ronnie?” Lance’s mother asked, and Veronica hurried over to help little Lance open the box.

Lance turned to Allura while his younger self opened his gift and studied her face. She wore a serene smile, shaking her head softly. “Do you remember?” she asked. 

Lance nodded. Yes, he did. Months before Christmas, Veronica had shown seven-year-old Lance her favorite TV show, about a dashing pilot and his adventures in space, fighting aliens and going on adventures. Since the time he saw that first episode, all he wanted to do was become a pilot when he grew up. 

Lance had replayed this scene in his head on numerous occasions- it was a time he remembered fondly. When his dream of becoming a pilot had begun. He could practically recite all the dialogue, and mouthed the words along with his younger self. 

“The Astral Phoenix!” Little Lance squealed, extracting the spaceship from its plastic prison and holding it reverently in his hands. “It’s  _ awesome _ .”

As his family smiled at his childlike wonder, Rachel scowled. “And you get to be the pilot. I’m so  _ jealous _ .”

“We can take turns!” Lance suggested. “We can both be pilots! We can go into space and kick alien butt!” Rachel perked up immediately, and the two began to play with the ship, all the other gifts soon forgotten.

Lance remembered. Of  _ course _ he did. As time went by, and they grew older, Rachel’s interests changed course, but Lance held fast to his dream of becoming a pilot and flying into space to fight aliens. Getting accepted into the Galaxy Garrison was the next step to achieving that dream, and it was fulfilled when Lance was chosen to be a paladin of Voltron. 

Lance never felt more alive than when he was in the cockpit of the Blue Lion, soaring through space and defending the universe. Piloting was his first love. The feeling of being in total control of his craft was exhilarating- he could plummet towards the ground and pull up the controls milliseconds before collision, flying away without a scratch. It was all up to him- and he was a natural.

Being a paladin did get tiring after a while- they were responsible for the safety of the universe, after all, and that was a heavy burden to carry. Constant violence was exhausting, and by the time he and the other paladins gave up their lions, Lance thought he could step away from the cockpit for good. He truly thought he would be satisfied with the simple life... But is that what the younger version of himself dreamed of? A plain life on a farm?

“Are you ready to move on?” Allura asked, observing Lance’s reaction.

“No...” Lance whispered hoarsely, before he realized Allura was talking in a literal sense. “I mean, yes. What else do you need to show me?”

The scene around them dissolved, and a new one wove itself out of bright white light. The light faded to reveal the slate gray hallways of the Galaxy Garrison. Voices could he heard echoing from down the hall.

“You know, for someone in a space exploration program, you don't have much of a sense of adventure.” 

“That’s me!” Lance said, surprised. He sounded a bit younger than he was currently. What was Allura showing him?

“All of your little 'adventures' end up with me in the principal's office,” someone griped in retaliation. 

“And that’s Hunk!” Lance gasped. “Wait, is this-?”

Two boys rounded the corner, carefully watching out for teachers. A younger version of Lance, maybe about seventeen, and Hunk, probably the same age. They were dressed in their casual attire... and it looked like they were trying to sneak out. The two boys crawled underneath a window to the Instructor’s Lounge, Lance peeking to make sure no one could see them. They snuck down the hallway and hopped into two recycling bins as a teacher strode down the hall, then hopped out and continued their journey, Hunk tripping over himself and scrambling to get back on his feet. 

Allura let go of Lance’s hand and drifted down the hallway after the boys. Lance followed suit.

The odd little party made its way up onto the roof after Past Lance caught sight of Pidge and decided to follow her. She set up shop on the roof ledge, placing out a computer and an assortment of gadgets. 

Lance and Allura observed the scene playing out. Past Lance asked Pidge why she was up on the roof, Pidge confessed it was because she had been receiving alien radio signals that kept repeating the word  _ Voltron _ . A fiery object plummeted towards the Earth and crashed, Past Lance and Hunk nervously asking what it was. Pidge explained it was an alien spacecraft. She showed them the video feed from inside the ship... It displayed Shiro, the famous pilot who everyone assumed was lost in space after a mission failed, strapped to a table and thrashing. 

The group discussed how to help Shiro escape, but before they could set up a distraction, explosions burst in the distance. 

Lance knew what came next. 

Keith, his sworn rival, approached the craft from the rocks while the Garrison officers were distracted by the bombs. Lance watched his past self protest the appearance of the mullet-haired boy, and he led the group down the rocks to intercept Keith’s rescue attempt. 

Allura didn’t need to show him what came after. She turned to him and smiled softly.

“Lance, your sense of adventure is what led you to become a paladin of Voltron in the first place. What happened after you went to rescue Shiro?”

“Well... We went to Keith’s cabin in the desert. He told us about the Blue Lion, we went to find it in the cave, and from there I piloted us into space. Then we found you, and the rest of the lions. And the rest is history, I guess..”

“Yes. And none of that would have happened if you hadn’t followed in Keith’s footsteps. Your bravery. Your endless courage and drive to explore. Without those things, Voltron as we knew it wouldn’t exist.”

“But that doesn’t  _ matter _ anymore, Allura!” Lance said. “Voltron is over. We all gave up our lions, don’t you remember? We moved on. I’m happy without Voltron. I’m  _ safe _ .”

“You may want yourself to think that, Lance. And yes, Voltron is gone. But how can Lance McClain, paladin of the Blue Lion, sharpshooter extraordinaire, be happy in a life without adventure? It sounds to me that you’re so afraid of losing what you have, you don’t want to take any more risks.” After Lance couldn’t formulate a reply, Allura continued. “You don’t have to continue being a pilot. But please consider this: Would you rather spend your life fearful and forever mourning, or embracing your fears, taking new chances, and learning to love again?”

“I- I don’t know,” Lance admitted helplessly, observing the light around him fading. “I have my family, and I love them... And I love you! Who else are you talking about?” 

“Your blood relatives aren’t your only family,” Allura explained. “Just take a look around you.”

Allura reformed the scene. Lance gasped as they appeared in the middle of the galaxy, the deep space backdrop glittering like a black cat’s coat speckled with milk. The stars began to swirl around the pair, forming a celestial sphere. Moving images began to appear in the mass of sparkle, numerous scenes of Lance’s life. Frames of Lance joking around with his friends, carefree and happy. Him and Allura meeting for the first time. Lance and Hunk in class, passing notes back and forth. Shiro saving Lance’s life and carrying his unconscious form away from enemy fire. Lance and his friends playing Monsters and Mana. The memories kept coming, an endless stream of nostalgia and love. 

“Lance, all of the people who love you and support you are your family. You don’t need to be connected by blood to have that kind of relationship with someone. Don’t forget that. You spent so much time in space wishing you could be back with your real family, you didn’t stop to notice that a new one was forming around you.”

The memories began to swirl slower, narrowing the subjects to just Lance and Allura. Lance observed all of their significant moments together. Their first date, their first kiss, Lance using a sword for the first time and Allura helping him. But as the memories continued, growing deeper into their relationship, Lance began to notice a pattern. 

“We don’t look happy,” he commented, frowning and glancing up at Allura. “I always thought we were happy together. Why do we look so upset?”

Allura’s face was solemn, her eyebrows pulled together and the corners of her mouth angled down. “Our relationship was complicated. I spent so long avoiding your advances. Only when I thought you were mature did I begin developing feelings for you... but were those feelings even true? I had just had my heart broken by Lotor. I was depressed and desperate for validation... so I turned to you, the person who I knew would uplift me no matter what, even if it meant sacrificing the same treatment you deserved.” 

“Allura... what do you mean?” Lance felt a twist of confusion in his stomach. Was she telling him she never loved him? Or that she regretted their relationship?

Allura let out a heavy sigh, and Lance could tell she had spent lots of time considering this. “Lance, maybe I did love you, I don’t know. But what I do know is that we weren’t right for each other at the time. Maybe in another reality, we could have worked out. But here, at that time? You needed support that I couldn’t give you. And I was too wrapped up in the past to devote the love you deserved.”

Lance’s head was a blur. The scenes continued to play in the swirl of stars. Lance focused on one in particular. It was Lance and Allura’s first date, when he had said “I love you” for the first time. In hindsight, it may have not been the best idea, but Lance had been so caught up in the joy of his crush finally reciprocating his feelings, he hadn’t stopped to think. 

Allura reached out a hand and pointed at the scene, which stopped right on Lance’s face. He had just told Allura his feelings, and Allura asked if he truly felt that way. Lance had taken Allura’s hand, placed it on his chest, and said: “With all my heart.” Lance’s face, frozen in the frame, looked like he had just been told his grandma died. His eyebrows were pulled together and he was frowning. It didn’t look anything like someone who had just confessed their undying love.

Allura sighed, gazing at the frame. Then she turned back to Lance. “Do you understand?”

“N-no, Allura, actually. I don’t. What are you trying to tell me?” Lance felt like his heart had been broken all over again. Was Allura saying that they hadn’t been in love? Or that they shouldn’t have been together?

“We loved each other for entirely different reasons,” Allura simplified. “You, because you clung to the past, and me because I was desperate for a future. But together, there was no growth. We were stuck in a spiral of wanting to be someone we weren’t, just for the other person. The sooner you accept that fact and move forward, the easier your life will become.”

Lance was shell shocked. He wasn’t expecting to hear that from his dead girlfriend on Christmas Eve. As her words settled in, Lance started to feel surprisingly lighter, as if a brick had been lifted from his chest. “I think I may be starting to see.” Lance whispered, gaze returning back to his melancholy face in the frozen frame. 

“I’m not saying that you can’t still love and miss me,” Allura clarified. “I have lost many people dear to me in my life, and I miss each one of them every single day. But it’s time you realize that there are other people to love. Your heart doesn’t have to belong to one person and one person only, especially someone who’s gone from this world.  You have to open your heart to loving again... and I think you know where to start.” Allura waved her hand and the scenes of her and Lance dissolved, instead replaced with images and memories of Lance and a certain black-haired paladin. 

“Keith?” Lance asked, surprised. “I have to open my heart to Keith?” 

“You’ll see why. Just watch.” Allura goaded him gently.

A collage of scenes played in the swirling stars before them. Lance and Keith, bickering when they first met. They both tried to rescue Shiro, and carried him out together. Lance and Keith, crawling back to back up an elevator shaft after the electricity went out to reach the swimming pool. Lance and Keith, defending each other in battle. Keith untying Lance from a tree where he was trapped, teasing the whole time. Lance and Keith’s so called bonding moment, which they both acknowledged as the turning point in their relationship. It had occurred after a hard battle, and Lance was resting, wounded, against a wall. Keith kneeled down next to him and clasped Lance’s hand, providing strength. Lance had smiled softly at the red paladin and commented, “We did it... We are a good team.”

Seeing the moment play out in front of him filled Lance with warmth. From that moment on, he and Keith had adopted more of a friendly, supportive relationship, often going to each other for advice or reassurance. Lance went to Keith after he was doubting his importance to the team, and Keith had helped him find his place. Lance had helped Keith accept his position as the head of the team after Shiro stepped down, and Keith had gone on to become a spectacular leader. 

“I look at you two and see a perfectly balanced relationship. You trust each other. You don’t have to worry about changing for each other. And most importantly: you make each other happy. Something I sadly couldn’t do for you.” Allura said. 

The scene switched to one Lance remembered vividly- it was right before Lance’s big date with Allura. He had sought out the company of Keith, and found him sitting on top of the Black Lion with his pet wolf, watching the sunset. Lance was feeling self conscious, nervous he wasn’t up to dating someone as wonderful as Allura. Keith had reassured him of his worth and about his position on the team, knowing exactly what to say, as always. 

“Listen. If she’s going out with you, it means that she likes you. The annoying, stupid, Earth version of you.” Keith smiled gently at Lance to signify that he was only teasing. 

Past Lance laughed quietly and sighed, gazing out at the setting sun. “Watching the sunset?”

“Yeah... Might be awhile before we get to see it again.” 

“Man... I’m really gonna miss this place.” Past Lance lamented, admiring the glowing skyline, dotted with mountains and trees. 

“That’s why we gotta end this war. And we’re gonna do it with the Lance that’s the paladin of the Red Lion. The Lance who’s always got my back. And the Lance who knows exactly who he is and what he’s got to offer.” Keith smiled at his friend, eyes warm and loving. Past Lance smiled softly back. 

The scene dissolved and Lance and Allura were left drifting in the middle of outer space. The swirling sphere of stars was gone. 

Allura turned to face Lance and looked into his eyes. “Now do you understand?”

“I-I think I do,” Lance admitted. 

“Yeah,” Lance agreed. “It’s time I stop dwelling on the past and start looking into what lies ahead. And maybe that future rests with the person who’s been supporting me this whole time... I need to talk to Keith.” 

Allura let out a light laugh, satisfied now that Lance seemed to have received her message. “I’m sure even if I hadn’t paid you a visit, you would have come to the realization eventually. You’re twenty-one and working on a farm! Did you honestly expect to be there your whole life? It’s an utter waste of your life, isolated from your friends and picking flowers all day long.”

Lance shook his head and chuckled. “I honestly don’t know. I think I hoped I could trick myself into thinking I liked it there? When in reality, I was constantly itching for adventure. Adventure I simply wouldn’t find in a cornfield.”

Allura nodded and her gaze switched from Lance’s face to the galaxy around them. Her figure began to disappear into glimmering dust, the fabric of her gown melting into a midnight black speckled with stars. “I fear our time together is growing to a close... this is when I say goodbye.”

Lance sighed. It felt cruel that so soon after he had reunited with Allura, she had to leave, but he understood now, for real this time. She had fulfilled her purpose in reality, and it was time for her to depart to her plane of existence. She didn’t belong here. 

They hugged one last time, savoring each other’s embrace. Allura drew back and placed a gentle kiss on Lance’s forehead, pushing his hair back lovingly.

“Goodbye, Allura.” Lance whispered.

“Until we meet again.” Allura breathed, the last of her form dissolving into the fabric of the galaxy. 

Lance’s attention was brought to two stars shining in the distance. A blue, a pink... and a red. 

He knew what he had to do. 

 

🟆 🟆 🟆

 

Lance awoke on top of the hay pile, and it took a minute to gather his bearings. He was back in the barn! And he had to contact Keith... but first, his family deserved an explanation. How much time had passed? An hour? Maybe two? 

Lance scrambled down from the loft and took off toward his house at a run. He flung open the front door and shouted, “Mamá! Papá! You won’t believe what just happened!”

Strangely, the foyer was empty. Lance followed the sound of voices to the living room, excitement bubbling in his chest. He was going to take back his life!

His large family were all gathered around some central interest in the living room- No one noticed Lance coming in. Voices overlapped and asked questions, shouting greetings and laughing. 

“So how did you meet Lance?”

“Was being a paladin hard work?”

“What do you think of the TV show made about you?”

One voice rang clearly above the others: Lance’s mother. “Hey, now! Give the boy some space!”

The crowd began to back up, and a gap was opened in the mass of people, allowing Lance to see just who everyone was talking to. He was greeted with the last person he expected to see standing in his own house.

Shaggy black hair, sharp features, piercing gray-blue eyes, and still dressed in his relief mission armor- 

“Keith?”

The grizzled-looking paladin cracked a smile. “Hey, Lanc-”

Before he could finish the name, Lance had hurdled over the couch and thrown himself into Keith’s arms. He held fast, and Keith stumbled but remained on his feet. “Woah, Lance. Good to see you too.”

“I can’t believe you’re here!” Lance exclaimed, drawing back and grabbing Keith’s arms. He was determined not to waste another minute of his life. “Whatever. It doesn’t matter! Come upstairs, we can get you out of that awful uniform!”

Lance dragged Keith to his room and they found jeans and a hoodie that would fit, taking turns explaining their stories. 

Keith had taken a leave from work for the next few days, inspired by Lance’s call. He portaled to Earth and went straight to Lance’s family’s farm, greeted by his relatives but not Lance himself. Keith had wanted to surprise him, and had been about to go look for him when he came through the front door. 

Lance explained his visit from Allura, and Keith believed him right away. Lance blanched at the part where Allura had shown him Keith and Lance’s moments together, worried it would make Keith shy away. Instead, he skipped that explanation and wrapped up the story. 

Keith shook his head thoughtfully. “Wow. How was it seeing her again?”

Lance sighed. “It was really, really nice. Kind of like closure, yaknow? She really helped me learn to move on to the next step in my life.”

Keith smiled. “I’m glad she could help you.”

“Me, too,” Lance smiled back. “Oh! You’re here for Christmas! It’s time for you to experience the holiday season... McClain style!”

Keith was roped into hours of dancing, movie watching, cookie eating, and singing carols. Keith grew progressively more flushed as the night went on, perhaps not used to being surrounded by such joyous people (and it certainly didn’t help that he kept glancing at Lance laughing and enjoying time spent with his family.)

As the night began to wind down, Keith and Lance excused themselves with mugs of hot cocoa to the backyard, where a gigantic willow tree loomed over the grass dotted with pink flowers. The two boys wandered under the tree and sat down, simply enjoying each other’s company. The gently tendrils of the willow blew in the night breeze, each green finger  illuminated by the string of lights hung in the branches above.

“Lance? Can I ask you something?” Keith said, clutching his mug.

“Go for it, man.” Lance allowed, sipping up a marshmallow.

“Would you ever consider joining the Blade of Marmora? It was a great way for me to transition out of being a paladin. We still get to help people, but there’s a lot less killing and more face-to-face interaction. We go to alien planets and distribute rations, help build schools... stuff like that. I just don’t feel like this kind of life suits you.”

Lance considered the offer, and found he already knew his answer. “That... sounds wonderful.” Lance admitted. “I would love to join the Blade, Keith. Helping people, getting my adventures in... and spending time with you.”

Keith nodded and went back to his mug. Was that a blush Lance spotted on his cheeks, or was the cold air just reddening his skin?

“Uh, Keith? Allura actually showed me... one more thing. About us.” Lance swallowed his fear, like Allura had advised, and confessed. “She showed me scenes of both of us and told me to open my heart to you. She wanted me to move on from her and find new people to love. Her main recommendation was you.”

Keith looked into Lance’s eyes. “She really said that?”

Lance smiled. “Yeah. Yeah, she did. And I can see where she’s coming from... I can’t think of anyone I would rather have by my side than Keith Kogane.” 

Keith smirked. “And I can’t think of a better space ranger partner than Lance McClain.” 

“Now c’mon, let’s go inside. I need a hot cocoa refill,” Lance complained good-naturedly, standing up and holding out a hand for Keith to grab onto. The two strolled back inside. Lance stopped before the door swing shut behind him and gazed up at the night sky.  

He smiled at the stars and whispered, “Thanks,” before following Keith inside. 

The stars glittered back. 


End file.
